My Best Failure-1
And I Divorced Her
Now when I am thinking it feels sad that before 14, I was quite an immature guy in comparison to today’s generation. School was a routine and study was a compulsion. When I finished my 10th standard then gradually I start becoming aware about my surroundings…
“Ohh… what a nice feeling, now I have to study only four subjects instead of boring 8 subjects…college is so easy na Ammi in comparison to school?” Before Ammi could answer my question a heavy voice bangs on my back. “No…it’s not easy because the subjects you are taking in college are difficult”…me and Ammi turned our heads on shoulder to see that a middle aged man is standing behind, my father. But at that time he was not speaking like a father but a bit frustrated gentleman, who was in chemistry department of Govt. College Malerkotla.
This is the college where I supposed be admitted. Ammi questions my father, “Are you saying that my fifth son will also take science subjects?” My father said “yes non-medical…”
Every father wants to see his children on the Top of this world. Every mother wants to see her children in the most comfortable zone of this world. I feel this is the basic difference between father and mother. At that time only doctors and engineers were tagged as successful youths.
Without any argument I filled the form with science subjects. The interview day was the most crowded day of the year in college. I was not worried about admissions at all owing to two reasons, my 70% [today’s generation will laugh on this percentage] marks in 10th standard and my father in chemistry department.
First day in college was the biggest day of life at that time. Self ironed nice pants with crease as straight as signal pole, Matching shirt, White hanky, polished shoes and a sleepless night was waiting for the morning of first day in college. Then first class. Then first look at female classmates. Then first disappointment. Only 2 average looking girls and more than 50 boys. It was the first reason of disinterest in studies.
Then my father compelled me to go for tuitions to their colleagues in physics, chemistry, maths and English departments. He affords four tuitions at that time because he was not paying them as tuition teacher, because they were colleagues in a way. They tried to taught Arabic to Spanish guy, job in their hand was too difficult.
With science theory, practical and four different tuitions there were no time for self. Actually I was not aware at that time about self. I did not know that “One’s self is important for oneself”.
Although I was not having time but still I joined dramatic club of college. Dramatic club was preparing for youth festival. Dr. Atamjeet’s adaptation of Manto’s story “Toba Tek Singh” was being prepared. I was playing advocate Roop lal’s character.
It was 1984, the year of Operation Blue Star, curfew was imposed everywhere in Punjab, everybody was detained in their own houses in a way. Radio was the most important part of life at that time because everybody was curious to know what is happening in Amritsar.
I don’t know about any other town but every mohalla of Malerkotla was like chaupaal of a village. Everybody was playing something from cards to chess, from empty cigarette boxes to snake and ladder according to age and to pass time.
Even in this atmosphere and ambience I use to go for play rehearsals. Everybody use to come who was involved in that play.
This one act play played a nice trick to me by the end of year. After exams results were out. I was out in Maths and physics and in only in chemistry and English. My father was the most disappointed man on that day. After initial shock I was the happiest person that day. That was my first failure I enjoyed later. Now I am realizing that was the best failure happened to me up till that time.
I was not for science, science was not for me. She never smiled at me I never bothered about her. She never appealed me I never approached her. She never gave me dream I never gave her thought. She never encouraged me I never praised her. She never blessed me I never prayed for her. She never touched me I never hold her. She never valued me I never understood her…so me and science mutually decided to part our ways…And I Divorced Her.
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